Sunday, August 08, 2010

An exception to the rule.


"Every movie we see, every song we hear, every story we're told implores us all to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule." - Gigi from He's just not that into you.

You know what I love? Girls talking about boys; it’s the funniest thing around; seriously do you guys ever notice how much time women spend talking about men? Like it never ever ends. I was just on a bus this afternoon and this girl sitting in front of me was complaining about how she met this great guy and how they had a magical date and how he never called her back and her friend said the worst thing she could have ever said: ” Oh, you shouldn’t worry; I’m sure he’ll call; I mean why wouldn’t he? You’re so pretty and smart. I’m sure he’s gonna call”. I’m sure she was being supportive as a girlfriend but come on; I swear, there was nothing holding me back from just slapping her silly and get some sense into that girl’s head.

If y’all didn’t know by now, that great guy just wasn’t into her and as girls, it’s so hard for us to grasp that concept. We sit around making up excuses for these
“great” guys while they are out there looking out for their special someone’s or somebody to bone, which ever they’re into. I mean if the book and the movie “He’s just not that into you” didn’t make you question your views on men, then I don’t know what more to say; and if you did not read the book or see the movie, I highly recommend it. Greg Behrendt is a former executive writer on SATC and he co-wrote the book “He’s just not that into you” with his co-worker Liz Tucillo. It’s such an eye-opening book and it’s liberating to feel that we may not be what certain guys are looking for just like they may not be what we are looking for.

Men and women are wired differently; we girls tend to overproject our life long dreams onto a guy we’ve just met; we are already thinking bed sheets thread counts and a little summer house and we already got the names of our future 5 children already picked out; guys, on the other hand, are just thinking
” I hope this goes well”. You cannot expect them to decide if we’re the one in about 5 minutes; that’s unrealistic.

Example, a guy and a girl go shopping. Let’s say they both need socks; a guy will go to the store, get his socks, buy his socks and leave the store; he is not about to check out that v-neck t-shirt that’s on sale, or try on belts or see if the store has a new layout for sales or anything we girls tend to do. Once a guy knows what he wants he’s gonna go and get it and that same technique sadly applies to how they date as well. So if a guy likes you, then YOU WILL KNOW.

They say
“Actions speak louder than words” or ” A picture is worth a thousand words”, well those sayings apply in real life as well.I mean between a guy who says “I donate my time to the elderly” and seeing a guy who’s volunteering at an old folk’s home, which one would you rather believe? So point is believe only what you see; anybody can say anything but action is key. So if you still didnt get it: “IF A GUY LIKES YOU HE WILL LET YOU KNOW”.

He will call you; he will text you; he will IM you; he will facebook, tweet and skype you. He will drop his work, blow off his friends and crazy ex-girlfriends and football practices and anything else that’s keeping him away from you. He will bug the crap out of you and not care that he’s bugging the crap out of you. That’s how simple it is; if you guys went on a great date and he still hasn’t called back then he’s not interested. I could be wrong when I say this but I bet I’m really not.

Talk is cheap; if he’s telling you one thing and doing another thing, that’s shady. I’m not saying all guys are liars; I’m just saying that talk is cheap. People tend to say what they
“think” they want to do without thinking it through and then it creates the mess called “mixed messages”. Girls spend hours with their girlfriends trying to figure out mixed messages; girls, bottom line is if you feel like he’s not interested, then he probably isn’t and the faster we realise this, the better it is for us. Would you rather spend your evening waiting by the phone for a guy who YOU think is gonna call but really isn’t when you could be out with your friends meeting great people who might actually call you back one day?

And as much as it hurts, we have to understand that yeah, we’re pretty awesome but we’re not meant for everybody; we shouldn’t be settling for anything less than what we are and we should all be
“the exception to the rule”.

12 comments:

  1. Very well put - I totally agree with you.

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  2. Couldn't agree more. I think all single women should read that book.

    Really well-written too.

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  3. Ugh, yeah, I agree with you on so many levels. Girls are so obsessed when it comes to men, and it's just not flattering. There's something called the "Bechdel test" for movies and a movie only passes the test if it follows these three rules:

    1. There are 2 or more women, with substantial roles
    2. Those women talk to one another
    3. They talk about anything EXCEPT men

    You'd be surprised (or, well, probably not) at how many movies DON'T pass this test. IS THERE NOTHING ELSE OUT THERE THAT'S INTERESTING TO WOMEN?

    Totally unrelated, but I thought I'd let you know that my blog has moved to www.wittytitlehere.com. (I'm freakin' excited about it.) So check it out if you get the chance. :)

    Thanks!
    Cassie

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  4. I love that book and movie. It's sooo true.

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  5. love the movie.
    love the book.

    Such ag reat lesson!

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  6. Great book. My husband actually has the book (I saw it on his bookshelf when we were dating). I was like "Um, why do you have that?" His response was, "I wanted to see what it said!" He said that there were a lot of generalizations in it but some of it was true.

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  7. True, true and true! I'm not saying that I don't talk about boys at all but I hate when girls talk ONLY about them. Hellooo, they are not the centre of the universe!! The truth is that when a guy doesn't call me and is not showing enough of interest I just stop caring about him. Life is too short for waiting long days and nights for somebody who doesn't give a damn...
    Anyway, great post!

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  8. I miss you in blog world!!! Hope you're doing alright :) and come back soon if you can

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  10. Where are you??? I haven't been commenting in a while, been so busy with school it's crazy! But I miss your posts in my reader :(

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  11. I was just wondering the same thing as Carina! Where did you disappear to?!

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  12. i'm a follower, but yet your blogs never come up on my blogroll...which leaves me feeling disconnected to your blog

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