Girls just wanna have fun!!

"There are worse things in life than having fun"

So we all have bad days, right? I don't mean the bad days where you missed your bus to go to work; I mean the awful, dreadful, lousy days where your alarm doesn't ring so you sleep in, your hair won't stay in place, you have ABSOLUTELY nothing to wear when you have 4 full closets that would make some wannabe-fashionista cry herself to bed at night, some jerk spilled his coffee on your new computer, your boss has called you into his office and he never does that, your best friend cannot make your lunch date because she's out dating the latest scum of the earth and it's not even noon yet; yep, I'm talking about one of those days. What if I told you that there are a few things that would kick any crappy-day's butt all the way to Timbuktu? Here's my list of things that make up for any lousy day.

- Do something for someone else out of the goodness of your heart; seeing that YOU made someone's day will instantaneously lift your spirits.

- Throw yourself in a creative project; something that you're most passionnate about that will take any negative feelings and fuel them into something positive. This blog started because I got in a fight with my friend. See?

- Sing. Loudly. Badly. Off-key.

- Indulge in all your guilty pleasures while eating the world's best chocolate/ice cream/ other sweets. For me it's watching old episodes of the Hills with a bowl of Ben and Jerry's.

- Write a list of things you love at that moment on a sticky pad and stick it to a place where you go often in your home. Everytime you pass that specific spot, you'll remember that even things do not go your way, there are things to be happy about. Update that list at least weekly.

- Listen to old-school Motown Classics and dance your worries away. My ultimate Motown playlist is :

-Dancing in the street- Martha and the Vandellas
-Sugar Pie Honey Bunch- Four Tops
-Signed, sealed, delivered- Stevie Wonder
-Do you love me? - The Contours
-Ain't nothing like the real thing- Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
-Super Freak- Rick James
-Upside down(inside out)- Diana Ross
-Baby love- Supremes
-My girl- Temptations
-You can't hurry love- Supremes
-I've heard it through the grapevine- Marvin Gaye
-Ain't no mountain high enough- Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
- I want you back- Jackson 5
-ABC/ Rocking Robin/ Blame it on the boogie- Jackson 5
-She's a bad mama jama- Carl Carlton.

- Look through an old album of photos, preferably with a friend. If it's an old friend, you can reminisce about things you did together and weird fashion senses and if it's a new friend, tell them about your old life and how cheeky/crazy you and your friends were. Positive memories help you deal with lousy moments a little easier.

- Grab a friend, dress up as tourists and pretend to go through your town like new comers; take loads of pictures and be sure to flash the peace sign in all of them.

- Bake a pie! Baking something that reminds you of your mother's cooking and letting all those awesome flavors take over your home brings you back to when you were 5 and used to watch your mother baking this infamous pie. It doesn't matter if it's not perfect; it's perfect in its imperfection.

- Have a musical marathon; I'm talking Rent, High School Musicals, Hairspray, Grease and all that jazz. Seeing people resolve conflicts with song and dance is so what our world needs right now.

- Go into an expensive store and try on what could be the biggest expense of your life and act like you're gonna come back tomorrow to get them. If you can, snap a picture of yourself in them. (Obviously you're not going to get them but it's always good to pretend in your head that you own them).

- Load up your Ipod and go for a long walk.

- Have a fashion/top model faceoff with friends. Do your Best Miss J's impersonations with HUMOUR of course and judge one another.
" you're walking like you're on crack, child!";
" you're walking like you're chewing gum between your legs, girl!".

What are some of your favorite ways to unwind?

xx

Embarrassment 101

A reader of mine sent me a question here asking me about my most embarrassing moments or at least to blog about one. I thought about not even doing this because "why would I just relive basically the worst moments of my life over again and then probably have other people laugh at my expense?" but then again, if I can't laugh at myself, how much fun can I be? So here I am, sharing one of the worst moments of my life. Although it had been mortifying, that night ended up teaching me something I didn't know about myself: I'm pretty ballsy.

I must admit that I am a walking, talking, breathing, living KLUTZ. If I don't go knocking over a chair, stumping my toes on the door or breaking a plate for at least one day, then I better just play the lottery because I am on a roll. I must also specify that I, in no way, shape, or form, actually had anything to do with this; it was all Mother Nature's fault.

Tis was the night of prom. I had actually looked like a girl; I wore this gold floor length grecian gown with a small train, accented with Swarowski-encrusted butterfly clips on the straps, a swooping cowneck-like backline, and gold crystal-encrusted strappy heels. I had my mother's wedding pearl and gold tiara that she wore when she first married my father and a vintage gold clutch. Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT! Some might have said that I looked FYYYYYNNNNNNNNE but you know, I did.

I was sitting at my table surrounded by my friends and we were the last table on the left side, nearing the buffet. In order to get out of the ballroom, you had to pass by seven other tables which included all the jocks and the pretty boys, their girlfriends and the TEACHERS, cross the ballroom, climb a few stairs and out of the door, you were. I do have a pretty small bladder and while waiting for the evening's festivities to start, I had felt the urge to pee. As I got up to go to the ladies's room and started walking away from my table, I hear my best friend, frantically getting up and walking right behind me; like RIGHT BEHIND ME! She couldn't have been any closer even if she tried. I didn't pay any attention until I noticed five other friends of mine, basically circling me. I prompted to ask what was going on and they just said to keep walking. I reached the bathroom only to notice THE BIGGEST STAIN on my dress. Yup, Aunt Flow came to town at my prom.

To say that at least half of my class and my teachers saw that would be an understatement. I think I had the biggest meltdown of my life; I cried half of my makeup off, trying to figure out what to do. Thankfully, a friend of mine had a spare tampon and another one knew that Club Soda or sparkling water, fizzy water, carbonated water if you prefer takes out colored stains. She rushed to the barman to get some and we were able to get off the stain. I sat for 15 minutes under the hotel's hand dryer and I had managed to pull myself together, emotionally and physically.

As I walking towards the ballroom, my friends kept asking me if I was "really" going back in there knowing pratically everyone knew what happened to me, by now. I kept thinking "I did not pay nearly 400 bucks for a dress I'll probably only wear once, spend an entire day on my hair, make up, fake nails and the whole shabang, spend money a limo and spend 100 bucks for a prom ticket, all for a prom I'm never going to get to enjoy. FUCK THAT! I'm going in there like I own the place; like none of this even phased me and I'm going to have the time of my life and live it up because this only happens once in your lifetime." And that, I did friends. And that I did.

I went in the ballroom, smiled at everyone and proceeded to make my way to my stained chair. I asked one of the waiters for a new chair and offered to clean my mess; they told me it was all good and I enjoyed my night. I don't have many memories from that night except the ones I remember capturing with my throw-away camera but I remember how much fun I had, looking back at pictures.

If I had opted to go home after said-incident I might have missed out on all of those great moments that I could proudly look back on now, sit with my friends and just say, "I had so much fun! Oh my god, look at us! We were so young! I don't know if you remember, so and so was sooooo looking at you when you were on the dancefloor. Do you remember her giving you the dirty look because you had accidentally stepped on her dress?" and other moments like that.

I learned that I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to just overcome most situations, and I did it in such a fierce manner. I'm fierce and ballsy! Anything like that ever happened to you? How did you react?

P.S: Would you like to hear some more embarrassing stories? Please leave your comments if you do. Happy Hump Day! xo

Would you like to get to know me on a Sunday?

Today is Sunday; and today is the finale of the World Cup. It has truly been one of the highlights of my summer and I'll be really bummed when it's over. But you know what will never be over, or at least I hope it nevers ends? "Getting to know you Sundays."; such a cute idea and I love linking up with Keely so if you also feel like tagging along, please link back up to her site!

1. What is YOUR definition of sexy?

My definition of sexy is being "bien dans tes baskets" which is a french expression meaning comfortable in your own skin. As every girl I get bad days and all but there is some days where I have a bounce in my step, a smile on my face and I just feel good; I feel sexy and it shows.

2. Would you rather clean up puke or change a poopy diaper?

I had previously cleaned a drunk friend's puke off her mother' couch and that was not a pleasant thing so poopy diaper any day!

3. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I wouldn't say I am an introvert or an extrovert; I like to think I'm a little bit of both.

4. If you had to give up one of your 5 senses for a year..which one would you give up?

The smell; my nose is stuffed half of the year so what's another 6 months?

5. Cake or Pie?

Omg pie! I love pie and although it's called "Cheesecake", anything being baked in a springform fan, in my book, equals a pie. Wham bam, thank you M'aam!

6. If you could play any character on TV (old or current) who would you play?

Omg don't judge me y'all but I would love to be Phoebe from Friends! She was so quirky and hilarious without even trying and I just loved her.

7. My favorite website is.....?

Would I be nuts if I said Google? I love Google; I don't know how many times a day I use Google.

8. The highlight of my day is....?

Finding out that there was a flea market on my street this morning. Usually, we have to go downtown but today, it was right down my street. I found a set of chef's kitchen knifes for about 1€50 and some little cute necklaces and books for 20 cents. I can't wait for next weekend's market. :)

I hope y'all have a wonderful Sunday and my letter of the day is coming up after the football game! Are you guys excited as much as I am? if you don't know what I'm talking about, click here!

I am...

I saw this awesome post in Erin's Circle's blog and I felt like I had to do mine.

I am:

- the girl who stares at a sunrise and daydreams about the sunset.

- an only child and one of the eldest out of my 25 cousins.

- that child who used to try to put forks in electrical outlets.

- an 11-year-old who had to leave her family behind in order to move to a different country.

- a 6th grader who used to rock at playing kubbs, Sweden's national game, in middle school.

- a strawberry shake lover for those nights I didn't feel like cooking.

- the daughter who always got the bigger room whenever her family moved.

- a 9th grader who decided to shoplift a lipgloss in a local Walmart and who got banned from that specific store for 2 years.

- that little girl who used to run under her covers when she was home alone and would hear a strange noise.

- a girl who once had a crush on a boy who hated her guts.

- a 6th grader who was always teased because she couldn't speak a word of English.

- a 8th grader who had a crush on a boy who was part of her exchange program.

- a junior high student trying to smoke her first cigarette on top of a hill.

- that same junior high student who then rolled down said-so hill just because.

- a senior student who's prom dress got ruined by Mother Nature.

- a girl who got 6 stitches on her scalp all because she literally ran into the edge of a door.

- a girl who's never kissed her first love but has been in a one-year relationship with first love.

- a girl who got rejected 11 times; yes your eyes aren't playing a trick on you... 11 times.

- the 17 year-old who blasts Billie Jean in the car with her best friend because she's not of legal age to go clubbing.

- the 20 year-old who decides to leave her confortable life behind in search of new adventures.

- the 22 year-old who thought she knew everything there is to know about love; turns out I have a lot to learn.

- the coin I wished upon before throwing into a fountain.

- from a father who will never understand how much he means to me, deep down.

- from a mother who has put up with a lot of crap from me and still manages to love unconditionnally, with all her heart.

- from a maternal grandmother who could easily be my favorite person on this planet.

- from a stepfather who managed to bring joy to my mother's life and bring our family closer, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

- a heart worn on my sleeve.

- from many mistakes and wrong turns.

- a heart that has been broken many times yet it still falls in love like it's the first time.

- a laugh waiting to pour out of my soul to hopefully, bring a smile to your face.

- a friend who's loyal through thick and thin.

- eyes who cannot help but see the beauty in all.

- a soul who's main source of energy is hope.

- me, flawed and beautiful.

My confession.

Ever since I started blogging, I came up face to face with a harsh truth, my truth. Truth is nobody knows me. No need for crocodile tears and tissues my friends, I assure you, this is not a cry for help nor a plea for love. I mean, nobody really knows me, the REAL me. I bet you anything my family wouldn't know what my favorite color is or what is my favorite book but what I learned is that it's really not their fault. It's mine; I failed to show the people who care about me the most who I am deep down inside. Everyone sees the first layers of me; the funny, sometimes loud, sometimes stubborn, optimistic girl who grabs life by the horns and just goes with it. Nobody has seen, let alone experienced the darks caves of my inner core, mainly because I won't let them. What am I so afraid of, you may ask?

I am afraid of everything. I am afraid nobody will get who I really am because the happy-go-lucky side of me is just that, one of the many characteristics of my personnality. I am really dark sometimes; I dive into these bleek thoughts and I feel these shady, gloomy emotions. I am insecure. I get angry for no reason. I am weak. I am beyond sensitive. I am hurt, hurt beyond words; people in my past have hurt me and as much as I try to let it go and not show it, the emotions come back often and haunt me sometimes. That is why I have become chronically insomniac. I am afraid nobody will truly love me. I am afraid to end up sad and alone and bitter. I am afraid that if I show anyone this side of me, that they would run for the hills because let's face it, not many people can handle it. So I bury everything inside of me and I lie through my teeth and pretend that everything is allright; it's easier to lie than to see the deception in my loved one's faces because I am not who they thought I was. Growing up, I did have a good childhood. I had every little thing a girl could want. I had all the barbies and the dress up kits I've ever wanted; you could say that I was spoiled. But there was always one thing missing in my life and that is love and affection. Don't get me wrong, both my parents love me but they weren't the kind of parents to express it outwardly. To them, it was more "We are feeding you, caring for you, nurturing you, educating you, helping you with your homework, cleaning your clothes; to us that is LOVE." because that's the way they were raised. What they have failed to notice is that they brought a ball of emotions out into this world and I guess they just didn't know how to deal with me so they didn't. I've always felt like I was not like the rest of my family; my mother is a strong, determined woman who, despite life's troubles, held her head high and carried through life in the most elegant manner and if I can become half the woman she is, then I'm truly blessed. My father meant the world to me when I was growing up; I saw him as my Superman. I felt like no one could ever hurt me if he was always around to protect me. I felt safe having him in my life. But then, my world came to a scratching halt when my parents decided to change lives.

I moved to Ottawa, Ontario in 1998, when I was almost 11 years old with my mother. The plan was originally that my mother and I would move there and my father would join us a year later since he had a good job position and he had to sell our home and pack our furniture and everything else that needed to be done. But a year and so passed and my dad never showed up. And before I could figure out why, I found out that my mother was filing for divorce because he chose to stay with his parents rather than to care for his family. I felt so betrayed and hurt; to this day, it's one of my pains that will never fade away completely. I felt abandoned. I have felt like that for the longest time and still feel like that sometimes. My mother focused on making a living for the both of us and God knows how hard that must have been for her but I felt like she didn't care. It's like she wanted me to be this little perfect daughter who didn't mess up, who obeyed the rules and if I wasn't going to be the exact way she wanted me to be, then I was not worthy of her love and attention. Now I know that she did care, in her own way of course, and that I was only blindsided by my personal pain to realise it. That's when I felt like going crazy and doing crazy stuff like shoplifting a lipgloss in a mall when I was 14 or smoking cigarettes when I was 15. I felt like no one cared about me so why should I care about myself? I fooled everyone; I fooled them all into thinking that I was happy all the time, that I was honest all the time, that nothing phased me. No one, to this day, saw through my charade.

Through blogging, I realised that I have been lying, not only to them but also to myself and frankly I am tired of these lies. I need to be honest with me and allow myself to actually feel things instead of repressing them. I want to be able to speak freely and not feel guilty. I want to say exactly how I feel without feeling like I would be judged. And I am going to do that, starting today. You know what they say "Nothing like the present". Who's "they", by the way? Whenever we start to say a popular saying, we always say "They". I want to meet whoever "they" is; gosh, there's too much "say" and "they" in those last sentences. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. This is my truth, this is my confession.

Faith in fate.

I got a call from a friend I haven't heard from in a long while today and I thought things would be awkward, but it really wasn't. I was pleasantly surprised. You see, lately, I had become so bitter and so lonesome that I didn't want to talk to anyone; Iwouldn't pick up my phone or talk to anyone. I had become angry and bitter but what I came to realise is that this phone call was bound to be my wake-up call. No matter who I meet in my life, no matter what I go through, everything is bound to happen because it's bound to; it's fate. I believe that even if I work my butt off in life, or that something occurs in all my "ships" whether it'd be friendships or relationships, the outcome will be determined by fate. Now, that doesn't mean that I won't work my butt off in life just because I believe in fate, or that I will let anything or anyone come in between my ships. But I do believe that when it comes to a certain point in all situations, things will be eventually out of your hands, because whatever that is bound to happen will happen, sooner or later.

What do you think? Do you believe in fate?

101 things I'm grateful for.

So I know it's nowhere near Thanksgiving time but it doesn't have to be only on Thanksgiving that we think about everything in our life, everything we've seen so far; everything we've felt, smelled, touched, heard, and loved. There's so many things to be thankful for, and whenever things are rough, just look back on this list and you can realise that life is not that bad. Here is my list of things I'm grateful for. What's yours?

1. God.

2. Being alive.

3. My mother.

4. my best friends.

5. the love in my life.

6. Life itself.

7. Sunny days.

8. Snowy days.

9. The many people I've met, good or bad throughout my life.

10. Great movies.

11. Music.

12. New York Style cheesecake.

13. Leaves changing colours during season changes.

14. Friends, the T.V Show.

15. A hot cup of tea when I'm feeling cold.

16. The warm fuzzy feeling you get when you realise you're in love.

17. The ocean and its breeze.

18. Coffee for those mornings you just can't get up.

19. Random acts of kindness.

20. my 5 senses.

21. Smelling a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies sift throughout the house.

22. My nationality.

23. My heritage.

24. my good fortune.

25. hearing the words " I love you".

26. Faith that everything will eventually be all right.

27. Feeling that you're appreciated.

28. The unknown.

29. Cameras to capture life's greatest moments.

30. Fresh fruit.

31. Frozen yogurt.

32. Anything chocolate.

33. Aromatherapy candles.

34. A warm blanket to cuddle under while reading a good book.

35. Being able to write.

36. The countless inspirations.

37. Farmer's market.

38. Michael Jackson's music.

39. GLEE!!! Nothing puts a smile on my face faster than GLEE.

40. The internet.

41. Standing under the rain.

42. Quiet mornings where no one is awake yet in your household.

43. Massages.

44. An amazing haircut or hairstyle that takes you immediately to the next level of HAWTNESS.

45. Starry nights.

46. Cuddling with the person you love.

47. My health.

48. My book library.

49. Being able to truly be me.

50. Girl's night out with my friends.

51. The perfect pair of jeans that I have not found yet, but I am not giving up.

52. All the shoes that I own, and will own because I have sort of a shoe addiction.

53. All the laughs I've had.

54. All the tears I've cried.

55. Being able to celebrate yet another birthday.

56. For a warm shower.

57. Bubble baths.

58. Trees and grass.

59. For Google; seriously what was life before Google?

60. Spellcheck

61. Cookbooks.

62. Grocery stores.

63. Bowling.

64. Jazz music.

65. Heaters that do work.

66. Past relationships.

67. Future friendships.

68. Thoughtful gifts.

69. The present.

70. Cherry blossoms.

71. My freedom.

72. To be able to sleep at night.

73. Free samples.

74. Gossip magazines.

75. Finding money in my pockets, forgetting I've ever put it there.

76. The smell of barbecue.

77. Pedicures.

78. Opportunity to say thank you.

79. Dancing my heart out.

80. That I can laugh at myself even if I'm embarrassed.

81. Keyboard shortcuts.

82. Nigella's recipes.

83. Sex and the City.

84. Carpe Diem.

85. Making Smores on a campfire.

86. Being barefoot in the sand.

87. Fresh fallen snow.

88. Foot rubs.

89. Laughing hysterically.

90. Watching your favorite shows again and again.

91. My traveling opportunities.

92. Babies grabbing your finger

93. Eating cookie dough.

94. Waffles with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.

95. Organized closets.

96. Having electricity.

97. Being able to do whatever you want in life.

98. Smell of spring.

99. Kindhearted people; the ones who see the beauty in everyone.

100. My childhood memories.

101. Hugs and kisses.

Mood: Nostalgic

"A real friend is the one who walks in when everyone else walks out."- Anon

Today is a beautiful day; the sun is shining, birds are chirping, and the weather is lovely. As I'm sitting in the backyard enjoying this beautiful weather, so many memories are flowing back to me, especially ones of my best friend for life. For me, a good friend is like a really good pair of shoes; always there when you need them and with a bond that is ever-lasting. Well, I share more than a bond with this girl; it's a mental, spiritual and emotional connection with her. As we were growing up, my mum often said that we must be sharing a brain or else, since we are so much alike and to think even for a second that I might have never met her, is the weirdest thing to me. If my parents had never gotten divorced, then me and my mum would have never moved to Canada and I would have never met her; in a way, I guess, thanks Mum and Dad!

The weirdest part about our relationship is it feels like we've known each other all of our lives; which is ironic in a way. She had this friend back in kindergarden who, apparently looked exactly like me, had my name and she was her best friend back then. And I remember so vividly her asking me over and over again, in the first months of our friendship, if I was sure I didn't go to her kindergarden; she was adamant on the idea that I was her old best friend. To this day, that part of the mystery, that is her kindergarden friend and where she has disappeared to, has never been elucidated but it almost feels like I was meant to cross her path.

Then this whirlwind also known as our friendship began. We used to live 5 minutes away from each other; we had oh-so many classes in school together; and we spent most of our high school years together. I remember sitting in class, and being dyslexic I sometimes had trouble reading out loud and our 10th grade teacher asked me to read a chapter of Lord of the Flies or the Chrysalids, I can't remember which one it was. Anywho, I fumbled on a word; so instead of saying "assuaged" I said "assuajaded" and to this day, she still laughs hysterically at that while imitating my teacher's face at my fumble. I remember her LITERALLY pushing me into my doorway because my neighbor was coming out of the house with his dog and she has a phobia of dogs. I remember us busting Michael Jackson in her parent's car and singing so loud at red lights to scare people off. I remember sitting at our McDs (we stalked it all the time, so it became our hangout spot; I know very lame) trying to find boys we could flirt with. I remember just sitting in her basement watching so many episodes of Friends. I remember how into clubbing we were when we finally turned 18 and had to cross the bridge to go to Gatineau (a town across Ottawa but that was on the Quebec side since Ottawa's legal age is 19)just so we could party. I remember her yawning like a dog (You just had to be there) or yelling some random dude's name in the street and seeing him look around, then look up to the sky as if God was calling him.

She always has been my main support through all my relationship dramas and God knows I've had my share; and even when I leave my hometown either to go back to Africa, to my roots or deciding to move to Europe, she has always supported me. She is the kind of person I'd be able to call at 4'oclock in the morning and I know she'd be there. She is the kind of person who planned a trip to Europe to visit not only the main cities, but also me. I know that even if we haven't spoken for months on end, whenever we do talk, it'll be like none of those months passed and we'll pick our conversation right where we left it off. The word "Friend" doesn't even begin to describe her and what she means to me. She's my "Ride or Die" Chick; she's my sister. And obviously, you can tell I miss her a great load. So here's a doodie I wrote for you. Until the day I get to see her face to face, it's been almost a year!

xox