Day 1: Letter to your best friend

{Part of the 30-day Challenge}

Dear best friend,

This is not about one specific person; lord knows how many of you I refer to as a best friend. This is an open letter to all of you; to the ones who are here for me now and to the ones who were there for me then. To the ones I talk to mostly all the time and to the ones I rarely ever get news from. To the ones who gave me hugs just because I needed comfort and to the ones who gave me a good wake up call when I needed it. This is for all of you. I wouldn't be the person that I am without you.

From the times you stayed by my side through all my fights with my mom, the times you held my hand when I was scared, the times you made me laugh because I couldn't stop crying about a boy, the times where you just sat there with me, staring blankly ahead, the times where you spent hours on the phone just because I needed someone to talk to; I will never forget what you have done for me.

We played together in the sandbox; we dreamt together about our futures, we stayed in bed all day, eating junk food gossiping about boys. We laughed together until substances came out of our noses, we held each other up when one of us was falling apart, we drove around until the wee hours of the morning just because. We stayed awake watching "Pretty Woman" and reruns of Friends; we swam, we cried, we ran, we tried. Words were never needed between us; I could take one look at you and you'd knew what I was thinking.

I know sometimes, that I was not a good friend; I may have spilled a few of your secrets and may have lost a few of you along the way because of my stupidity and naiveté. I was young and stupid, granted but I shouldn't have betrayed or hurt the ones that I've hurt. I'm not here to make excuses for my actions and I hope that wherever you are, you have forgiven me. If there's is any of you that are still harboring any ill feelings about me, please know, that whatever I've done, I am sorry. I am sorry for hanging up on you because I was in a pissed off mood; I'm sorry for telling you harsh things because my ego got bruised. I know I haven't always been around for you whenever you needed me because sometimes, I liked to be selfish and I'm glad to say that that was the old me.

What I want you to always remember is that no matter what happens, you will always a place in my heart. I will never forget a single one of you as each one of you made such an impact on me and on my life. You've all built your little condo in my heart and you will never be out of it. Even when you are gone, the memories will still be alive then.

Thank you for everything for my past, my present and my future.

Undecisive yet again

Decisions are hard to make for me; I am such an indecisive person and it's not just "Oh, I really don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with this person or not" kinda decision; it's more like "Shit! What kind of flavoured jam DO I WANT? Somebody, please HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!".

I spend hours just staring at the jam section in my grocery store {when I'm alone of course; when I'm grocery shopping with others, I just go for what they take. I really am not picky when it comes to food.}

So the decision I have been struggling with lately is whether or not I should delete my Facebook account. I know deleting Facebook is like social suicide, like Facebook is "the place" to be.

*Is it really? Or has Twitter trumped it from its social throne? Welcome to the random thoughts that are constantly in my head.*

But lately, I have been known to close my account like everyday until late at night, I hear Facebook slowly calling me to open my account back up because IT KNOWS IT'S MY CRACK! I am OBSSESSED with Crackbook! I don't want to close it because that's the only link I have to all my friends that I have left back home; seeing their pictures and all of their crazy wall posts I will definitely miss.

What has brought to me to this point, might you ask? Well, Facebook is slowly trying to ruin my life. Now, I am not one to be hurt when people "defriend" me. I have defriended my fair share of people; the high school prima donna,who you haven't said two words to all high school long, who suddenly friends you like you two were as close as B&R {Batman and Robin}; the guy you dated a few years ago and you're trying to be "friends" with although that's not working out too well and the old coworker from a previous job that you quit 5 years ago. But recently, a person who was close to me "defriended" me; someone I actually cared about, who I thought was my friend, and who I lived with for about a year took time to write me off her life. I had no idea how much the "unfriend" button could actually hurt.

Then yesterday night, I ran across the inevitable; a little love note that made my insides feel like being inside a jumping castle. A love note that would have been mine if things were like they used to be.Then a picture, smiling faces; hands touching; love oozing out of every pore of their bodies. Granted, I am not still in love with said-so person; I have moved on quite well but I'm the type of girl who likes to pretend that exes mourn her for these few reasons and so many more of course:

- I am a mean cook; my grandma taught me that if you're willing to get into a man's heart, you must first go through his stomach! Thanks Mima! I love cooking like it's nobody's business and I believe that nothing says sorry more than a mississippi mud pie.

- I love watching sports. Granted it's not like I'd rather watch sports than say, Gossip Girl or How I met your mother but I am quite a fanatic. Sometimes, my passion for football runs deeper than ID's, only when Barcelona is playing though. {ID is my bf's nickname.}

- I send little care packages when I'm traveling for a long period of time or when they're away for a while.

Now after seeing the proof that he did move on, (the worst part of it all is that I don't even have him as a friend on Crackbook, one of my best friend does). I'm usually not the kind of girl who asks all of her friends to "defriend" her ex because she needs closure but after seeing what I saw last night, I wish I would have. Oh Well!

I just don't want to run into these kinda awkward situations or feelings for that matter; I hate anything awkward. I just feel like it's maybe time to delete it completely. I don't know. Maybe it's time to turn the page. Maybe I'm just freaking out for no reason. Maybe I'm right. Whoa! Too much to handle on an empty stomach!

(YES, MY BRAIN IS STRANGELY CONNECTED TO MY STOMACH; SHUT UP!)

I'll just sleep on it for tonight; what do you guys think? Any advice would be great! Danke in advance.