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* Music is what feelings sound like.*
I usually take the same route home; a brisk walk through the woods, on to the parking lot, cross the bridge and I am home. Today, though, I took a bus. I didn't think it would change anything except that I would be home a few minutes early. I paid my fare and looked for a empty spot in the bus. The only seat vacant was right in front of this little old lady. Bless her heart, she was nearing 80. She wore this grey sweater vest with a dainty pearl necklace paired with some floral pants and silver slingbacks. She was deep in a conversation with this younger man, telling him about how her husband proposed to her in 1951. I smiled politely at her and took my seat. Realizing how long of a detour the bus was going to make, I decided to pull out my Blackberry; put my music list on shuffle and sit back and relax.
"Oh, I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said", sang T-Pain. A face appeared in front me; a face so familiar at one point in my life and yet so distant from my life now. I closed my eyes to catch another glimpse of that face I used to cherish; I couldn't help but smile. I could picture his face just bobbing his head to the song and singing it on his way to work.
A few minutes passed.
"It's a quarter after 1, I'm all alone and I need you now" Lady Antebellum said. I remembered the pain like it happened yesterday; the times when all I've wanted was to pick up that phone and just have someone who really knew me on the other line flooded back like a wave crashing against the shore.
"Bole Chudiyan, bole kangna { My bangles say, my bracelet say}
Haai main ho gayi tera saajna { I have become yours sweetheart}
Tere bin jiyo naiyo lag da main te margaiya { Without you, I wouldn't have life; I would die.}
Le jaa le jaa, Dil le jaa le jaa {Take away, take away, take my heart away}
Le jaa le jaa, Soniye le jaa le jaa {Take away, take away, oh radiant one, take it away.}" started singing Kareena Kapoor.
"Since when do you listen to Bollywood songs?"was his first question.
"There's lot of things you don't know about me. I've fell in love with Bollywood about 2 years ago and that is still one of my favorite songs."
"Didn't think it'd be your kind of music, that's all."
I started humming the melody.
"Sing it to me, please."
While my voice was trying to keep in tune with the melody, I saw his eyes gleaming; he knew what those words meant and how quickly those powerful words could entrance a person. He had finally hope.
"Drew looks at me; I fake a smile so he won't see" began Taylor Swift. A pull at my heartstrings. Granted his name wasn't Drew but the feeling was the same. I felt the longing; the need.
"I'm bringing sexy back; them other dudes don't know how to act", wailed Justin. I sensed a smile curling up slightly on my lips; he used to sing that song out loud. Crazy thing is he was bringing something back; a blend of sexiness and just plain goofiness. What a killer combination.
That's the thing about music; we often associate a small moment in time with a song we loved at that point. A heartbreak or a tragic moment in life can be healed through music and that's the thing about memories as well. It can be 5 years that you haven't felt such emotions but as soon as you hear that fateful melody, everything comes rushing back. Some people might hate it but I love it. It reminds me that I am human, first and foremost and that feeling things can be okay.
As I sat there on my way home, I felt things I haven't felt in ages. As I was getting up to get off my bus, I excused myself to the young man to see if he could remove her groceries that was blocking my way out. She looked up at me, smiled widely and said, with her slighty southern accent: "Ahh l'amour! Quand tu nous tiens!" {Oh love! When you have a hold on us.}
I smiled at her and got off the bus. As I made my way home, I wondered how she knew. Was I that obvious?
