On the way down...

* Music is what feelings sound like.*

I usually take the same route home; a brisk walk through the woods, on to the parking lot, cross the bridge and I am home. Today, though, I took a bus. I didn't think it would change anything except that I would be home a few minutes early. I paid my fare and looked for a empty spot in the bus. The only seat vacant was right in front of this little old lady. Bless her heart, she was nearing 80. She wore this grey sweater vest with a dainty pearl necklace paired with some floral pants and silver slingbacks. She was deep in a conversation with this younger man, telling him about how her husband proposed to her in 1951. I smiled politely at her and took my seat. Realizing how long of a detour the bus was going to make, I decided to pull out my Blackberry; put my music list on shuffle and sit back and relax.

"Oh, I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said", sang T-Pain. A face appeared in front me; a face so familiar at one point in my life and yet so distant from my life now. I closed my eyes to catch another glimpse of that face I used to cherish; I couldn't help but smile. I could picture his face just bobbing his head to the song and singing it on his way to work.

A few minutes passed.

"It's a quarter after 1, I'm all alone and I need you now" Lady Antebellum said. I remembered the pain like it happened yesterday; the times when all I've wanted was to pick up that phone and just have someone who really knew me on the other line flooded back like a wave crashing against the shore.

"Bole Chudiyan, bole kangna { My bangles say, my bracelet say}

Haai main ho gayi tera saajna { I have become yours sweetheart}

Tere bin jiyo naiyo lag da main te margaiya { Without you, I wouldn't have life; I would die.}

Le jaa le jaa, Dil le jaa le jaa {Take away, take away, take my heart away}

Le jaa le jaa, Soniye le jaa le jaa {Take away, take away, oh radiant one, take it away.}" started singing Kareena Kapoor.

"Since when do you listen to Bollywood songs?"was his first question.

"There's lot of things you don't know about me. I've fell in love with Bollywood about 2 years ago and that is still one of my favorite songs."

"Didn't think it'd be your kind of music, that's all."

I started humming the melody.

"Sing it to me, please."

While my voice was trying to keep in tune with the melody, I saw his eyes gleaming; he knew what those words meant and how quickly those powerful words could entrance a person. He had finally hope.

"Drew looks at me; I fake a smile so he won't see" began Taylor Swift. A pull at my heartstrings. Granted his name wasn't Drew but the feeling was the same. I felt the longing; the need.

"I'm bringing sexy back; them other dudes don't know how to act", wailed Justin. I sensed a smile curling up slightly on my lips; he used to sing that song out loud. Crazy thing is he was bringing something back; a blend of sexiness and just plain goofiness. What a killer combination.

That's the thing about music; we often associate a small moment in time with a song we loved at that point. A heartbreak or a tragic moment in life can be healed through music and that's the thing about memories as well. It can be 5 years that you haven't felt such emotions but as soon as you hear that fateful melody, everything comes rushing back. Some people might hate it but I love it. It reminds me that I am human, first and foremost and that feeling things can be okay.

As I sat there on my way home, I felt things I haven't felt in ages. As I was getting up to get off my bus, I excused myself to the young man to see if he could remove her groceries that was blocking my way out. She looked up at me, smiled widely and said, with her slighty southern accent: "Ahh l'amour! Quand tu nous tiens!" {Oh love! When you have a hold on us.}

I smiled at her and got off the bus. As I made my way home, I wondered how she knew. Was I that obvious?

He said, she said

On a lazy Tuesday afternoon, at a bus station.

She: "Sorry I'm late. I slept over at N's house and the bus was late."

He: "Yeah yeah, you always use the bus excuse. How long has it been now? You really need to find yourself something new to say."

She: "Shut up, okay! Seriously, the bus WAS late. So, should we just go check out what movie is playing?"

He: "Lead the way."

Inside the theater.

She: "Ok, so the movie doesn't start for an hour. What should we do? Dude, let's play air hockey."

He: "All right but you should know you're headed up against a reigning champion. Are you sure you wanna do this? I'm just saying, you might get beat."

She: " Are you done bragging yet? Cause it's time for a can of Whoop-Ass."

He: "Wow! That sentence is probably about as old as you are. Then it's on...."

Both: "Like Donkey Kong."

Just a small moment in time, but that was then.

An exception to the rule.

"Every movie we see, every song we hear, every story we're told implores us all to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule." - Gigi from He's just not that into you.

You know what I love? Girls talking about boys; it’s the funniest thing around; seriously do you guys ever notice how much time women spend talking about men? Like it never ever ends. I was just on a bus this afternoon and this girl sitting in front of me was complaining about how she met this great guy and how they had a magical date and how he never called her back and her friend said the worst thing she could have ever said: ” Oh, you shouldn’t worry; I’m sure he’ll call; I mean why wouldn’t he? You’re so pretty and smart. I’m sure he’s gonna call”. I’m sure she was being supportive as a girlfriend but come on; I swear, there was nothing holding me back from just slapping her silly and get some sense into that girl’s head.

If y’all didn’t know by now, that great guy just wasn’t into her and as girls, it’s so hard for us to grasp that concept. We sit around making up excuses for these “great” guys while they are out there looking out for their special someone’s or somebody to bone, which ever they’re into. I mean if the book and the movie “He’s just not that into you” didn’t make you question your views on men, then I don’t know what more to say; and if you did not read the book or see the movie, I highly recommend it. Greg Behrendt is a former executive writer on SATC and he co-wrote the book “He’s just not that into you” with his co-worker Liz Tucillo. It’s such an eye-opening book and it’s liberating to feel that we may not be what certain guys are looking for just like they may not be what we are looking for.

Men and women are wired differently; we girls tend to overproject our life long dreams onto a guy we’ve just met; we are already thinking bed sheets thread counts and a little summer house and we already got the names of our future 5 children already picked out; guys, on the other hand, are just thinking ” I hope this goes well”. You cannot expect them to decide if we’re the one in about 5 minutes; that’s unrealistic.

Example, a guy and a girl go shopping. Let’s say they both need socks; a guy will go to the store, get his socks, buy his socks and leave the store; he is not about to check out that v-neck t-shirt that’s on sale, or try on belts or see if the store has a new layout for sales or anything we girls tend to do. Once a guy knows what he wants he’s gonna go and get it and that same technique sadly applies to how they date as well. So if a guy likes you, then YOU WILL KNOW.

They say “Actions speak louder than words” or ” A picture is worth a thousand words”, well those sayings apply in real life as well.I mean between a guy who says “I donate my time to the elderly” and seeing a guy who’s volunteering at an old folk’s home, which one would you rather believe? So point is believe only what you see; anybody can say anything but action is key. So if you still didnt get it: “IF A GUY LIKES YOU HE WILL LET YOU KNOW”.

He will call you; he will text you; he will IM you; he will facebook, tweet and skype you. He will drop his work, blow off his friends and crazy ex-girlfriends and football practices and anything else that’s keeping him away from you. He will bug the crap out of you and not care that he’s bugging the crap out of you. That’s how simple it is; if you guys went on a great date and he still hasn’t called back then he’s not interested. I could be wrong when I say this but I bet I’m really not.

Talk is cheap; if he’s telling you one thing and doing another thing, that’s shady. I’m not saying all guys are liars; I’m just saying that talk is cheap. People tend to say what they “think” they want to do without thinking it through and then it creates the mess called “mixed messages”. Girls spend hours with their girlfriends trying to figure out mixed messages; girls, bottom line is if you feel like he’s not interested, then he probably isn’t and the faster we realise this, the better it is for us. Would you rather spend your evening waiting by the phone for a guy who YOU think is gonna call but really isn’t when you could be out with your friends meeting great people who might actually call you back one day?

And as much as it hurts, we have to understand that yeah, we’re pretty awesome but we’re not meant for everybody; we shouldn’t be settling for anything less than what we are and we should all be “the exception to the rule”.

Top 10 Romantic Movies.

I was surfing the good ol' web a few days ago when I fell on a random email on the top 10 romantic movies of the past decade. I found myself disagreeing to a few of them. That's when I decided to give you guys my top 10 romantic movies of the past decade or so ; now some of you might not agree. Please leave in the comments your top 10. Enjoy.

10. How to Lose a guy in 10 days (2003).

I mean come on, Matthew McConaughey is just simply scrumptious in this movie; he has that wicked smirk we all know and love.

9. Just like Heaven (2005)

I first read the book in french; it's called Et si c'était vrai by Marc Lévy in my last year of high school in french class and I remember how touching the story was. Although the movie didn't do the book justice, it is still a beautiful story about a couple who fall in love despite the fact that the heroine isn't even alive.

8. Brokeback Moutain (2005)

Some people will focus solely on the fact that this movie is about two guys falling in love; but it's deeper than that, much deeper. I remember sitting in the movie theater with my best friend Karine, both of us crying our eyes out. No wonder this movie snatched 3 academy awards.

7. a tie between You've got mail(1998) and Pretty Woman (1990)

Between Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks who despise each other in real life while being completely in love online and Richard Gere falling in love with a Julia Roberts, who portrays a hooker while having the capacity to kill someone with her amazing smile, my heart just cannot decide.

6. 50 first dates (2004)

I do love The wedding Singer with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, their first movie together, but I love how even she loses her memory every single morning in 50 first dates, he still sticks around every morning reminding her he loves her.

5. Casablanca (1942)

Oh how my heart jumps everytime I hear the word Casablanca. It's been more than 60 years since this movie came out and it holds a dear place in my heart. It's a beautiful story of love and virtue when a man must decide between the love of his life or his destiny to save his country.

4. P.S I love you (2007)

I first fell in love with the novel; a woman (Hilary Swank) receives letters from her dead husband to help her cope with her mourning. And it seriously didn't hurt that the lead male was played by Gerard Butler.

3. A walk to remember (2002)

Mandy Moore is amazing as a fragile yet strong girl who is sick and has the most-coveted boy of her high school fall in love with her. The saying "don't judge a book by its cover" comes straight to mind.

2. Titanic (1997)

Jack, Rose, what more can I say? Celine Dion's "My heart will go on" says more than enough.

1. The notebook (2004)

For a long time Titanic held the number 1 spot in my list until this masterpiece came out. A wretched love story between a couple from different social classes; just to show you that love knows no boundaries.

What are your favorite romantic movies?

Day 3: Letter to your parents

*Note: I struggled to write this for the past 4 days; I just couldn't figure out if I'd be even able to write anything remotely close to how I really feel. I thought 1.000.000 times whether I should publish it or not, then again, I need to heal some wounds. Since my parents are divorced, there will be a letter to my mom, my birth father and my dad. If you wish to see more from me, do not fret as there will be other posts coming up later on today. :)*

{Part of the 30-day Challenge}

Dear mom,

I wish I could say that I was the daughter that you've always wanted me to be; I wish I could be the daughter you'd be finally proud of; I wish I could be the daughter who wouldn't lie to you so much but truth is, I'm not. I'm a chronic liar; when it comes to you, I am. I've been lying to you ever since, well since I was 13. I've been lying to you about who I am, how I feel, what I've been doing, who I've been seeing and anything in between. I wish I could say that I feel guilty lying to you like this, but in all honesty, it has become as easy as breathing. Lies flow out of my mouth as fast as water pouring out of a fountain. Why do I lie so much?

Truth is, I've never felt like you really saw me for who I really am; maybe it's my fault, maybe it's neither of our faults but I've always felt like I could never be just "me" with you. Growing up, I haven't had much memories of you; you were always abroad and I don't recall ever spending time with you. I think I just locked away all my early memories with you because it hurt too much to think that my mother would rather be away than to spend time with me. Now, I know you had to leave for health reasons and I don't blame you for being away. However, I feel like I had to learn how to grow without you and when we moved to Canada because of your relationship with my father, I felt like I was going away with a stranger; please keep in mind that this isn't me trying to hurt you. This was just long overdue.

You then proceeded to make all these huge sacrifices for me; you worked double shifts while going to school just so that I could have a brighter future; just so that I could grow up having choices; just so that I could have a different life than yours and for that, I will be forever grateful. I understand how much you suffered and how you used to plaster a smile on your face even at times when all you wanted to do was break down and cry but you didn't; you held on for me, just so I could see that no matter what happens in life, you need to keep your head high, and to never give up. You were trying to provide something huge for me and I thank you so much for that.

But Mom, I didn't need you to provide heaven and earth for me. I would given up all those times hanging out with my friends if that meant spending 5 minutes with you where I wouldn't worry about being me. I would have given it all up if it meant you'd be proud of me for one second. I distinctly remember my high school graduation and how I was so excited to see the joy on your face, like every other parent attending the ceremony. After I had gotten my diploma, I looked out for you and ran to hug you. I remember asking you if you were proud of me, and your only reply was "Why couldn't you be on the honor roll like all those kids?" I could tell you how much that hurt but words could not be enough. There'd be tons of examples to tell you how much your words and your attitude had a rippling effect on me but I won't dwelve into them because it'd be opening up wounds that I've tried scarcely to heal.

There were times where I blamed you; times where all I was needing was your love and attention. And since you were kind of oblivious to my needs, I sought out every way to hurt you. now I know that you were brought up differently. To you, love and attention meant "I am feeding you, caring for you, providing for you; that's love." Now, I understand you but I fear that it might be too late for me to change the errors of my way. Sometimes, I wonder what would my life be like if I was the daughter you planned me to be? I know for sure, you'd be proud of me; you would listen to me, you would weigh my words instead of just dismissing them because "I'm too young to understand."

I am not too young to understand anything; I know I've only lived 22 years of life on this Earth but I've felt so many things, seen so many things but I failed to accomplish one thing: that is to make you proud. I don't know if I'll ever manage to do so but all I know, is that I am sorry. Sorry for the way I treated you; sorry if I never made you proud of me; sorry for wishing something bad would happen to you because I was hurting deep down. I know I wasn't the easiest person to handle growing up with all my attitude problems. I love you more than words could ever explain and I'll always will; you're my mother. You gave me birth and you cared for me when it was easier to just leave me with my dad; you loved me in your own way and you'll always want the best for me and honestly, that's all that matters at this point. I don't want to waste any more years because I've learnt that time is precious and it should not be wasted so here's your crash course in Ayan 101:

- I am almost 23 and I still don't know what I want to be growing up. One day, I feel like just writing and the next, being a makeup artist. My heart wants so many different things that I don't know where to go; I'm still learning to know who I am after years and years of repressing my true nature so please bear with me while I figure it out.

- I know you want me to become a lawyer or someone high-profile but I want to be eager to get up in the morning and doing a job I love so please forgive me, because it is highly doubtful that I'll become a lawyer, or a doctor with a PHD.

- I know you always taught me that I don't need a man to depend on and that I should be focusing on school and my career but I have to tell you mom, I am a sucker for love. Love is what keeps me going at the end of the day, knowing that there is someone at the end of the day who I could just lean on, that is my driving force.

- I like to watch Sex and the City and Friends whenever I have the blues.

- I love food if you couldn't tell and nothing, and I mean, NOTHING, will make me love it less; even if it's Georges Clooney asking me to hate it. I will not. Oh, and I might have a serious man crush on Georges Clooney. I'm just saying.

I don't want you to think that you've made my life a living hell because you haven't; I guess I'm a little too over-emotional and a little vindictive so I kept all the negative thoughts in my head instead of just letting them go. So here I am, letting go once and for all. I have shared some wonderful memories with you; you've made me laugh; you've shared your life story with me which made me understand you and where you were coming from. You taught me so many valuable life lessons that I'll always cherish. I hope we can mend these broken bridges between us and finally have the relationship I've always dreamed of.

Your daughter who loves you more than herself.

A letter a day- 30 day Challenge.

Ever since my relationship has taken its toll on me, I feel uninspired. I want to be me again; I want to feel something else other than pain and heartache. I want to think about other things than how I cannot communicate with my bf so when I came across this 30 day challenge, I jumped for joy. Well not really, but you get my point. Maybe this will bring my writing mojo back.

I've seen the 365 project where you take one picture a day for a whole year but since I do not have a good camera, it wouldn't be worth it. I want to tackle that one when I can put my lame-ass photography skills to the test with a good camera because if I did that now, it would be too easy to blame it on the camera. With a good camera, I wouldn't have any kind of excuses.

This project consists of writing one letter a day for 30 days and for the next month or so, I will be writing a letter to:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

I don't know if I'll write one letter a day since I get inspired very easily so you may find a few letters a day but what I'm hoping to get out of this is to maybe heal a few wounds that have yet to be scarred, find my inspiration and my love for writing again and maybe, just maybe, find myself along the way.

I have been duped today.....

So this is going to be a very long post. I went to go to the supermarket today to grab a few things; *YAY FOR LEAN BONELESS CHICKEN BREASTS AND ORANGE JUICE* and I was standing in line, you know just minding my business when this random girl came up to me, asking me for the time. I was like "Okay, you know sometimes I randomly ask strangers for the time too"; whenever I don't my phone on me since I never wear a watch.

Then she started talking to me about how she looked awful the morning after a break-up; I told her she looked fine, and not because I was trying to be nice but because she did look fine. She didn't seem sad nor did it seem like she had been up all night crying her eyes out which is what I would look like the morning after a break-up.

At that point, I'm trying to just pay my things and get the fuck out of there because A) I was in dire need of sleep and B) I don't know this chick. As I was walking out of the supermarket, she broke down in tears, y'all! IN TEARS! So I'm literally standing besides a random chick that I don't even know who's bawling her eyes out and loudly, might I add, and everyone passing by is staring at me like I just beat the crap out of her.

As I'm not inhuman, I tried, awkwardly but nonetheless I tried, to give her a hug because whenever I'm sad, I just need hugs. We exchanged names and I told her that if she needed to talk to someone, she could talk to me. So we grabbed a mint diabolo, which is a drink I love. It's just some mint syrup mixed often with 7Up or lemonade and it's delicious. We went to a near-by park and that's when she told me her breakup story and it was just a bunch of hot mess. HOT MESS, I TELL YOU!

So after 5 years together, they finally split. Her guy is very family-oriented which is not an issue for some people but for her, she would have preferred that her man actually listens to her instead of always listening to his family. His family doesn't like her anymore; they used to but that was before she had wished that his father, who was sick and in the hospital at that point, would just die. She had said that out of anger but as she is shit out of luck, his father had died that same night. So now his family thinks she is a witch in disguise and has somehow, cast a spell on their family and they do not want him to ever be with her.

That family drama aside, she, then tells me that she caught her guy cheating on her with one of her friends about a week ago. As if that wasn't enough, he only calls her when he needs to get laid and obviously because she is IN LOVE with him, she goes to him and whenever he's done with her, he just throws her out of his apartment. He has also been known to hit her on multiple occasions, and get this! She is even questionning his sexuality since he does some shady things with some shady friends. Yet she is convinced that he loves her deeply because one day, they were fighting and she asked him if he had ever loved her or if he loves her now and if he doesn't, when is he planning on falling in love with her ?

His answer, ladies and gents {Are there gents around these parts ?} was:

" I didn't love you, I just really needed to get laid and you were there so. You know, on some level or you know, subconsciously, I love you. I'm sure I'll be head over heels with you very soon; you know you just can't push feelings like this. You need to give me time."

So he threw her the bone and like the little puppy he knew she was, she held on to that bone as if her life depended on it. I swear you guys, my hands were literally itching to just shake her and slap her just so she could finally wake up and smell the coffee. I was holding myself back so badly. I tried to point out to her that if he was pulling crap like this, then maybe he wasn't good for her and that she should try to move on because a guy like that, will only hurt her. She proceeded to find every single excuse in the book on why he was acting like such a douchebag.

I felt so bad for her; not because he did loads of crappy stuff to her and still she accepted, but because she didn't even know who she was anymore. She was so blindsided by this dude that she forgot who she was or on some level, she doesn't even know who she is to begin with.

She has been with him since she was a teen and at that point, I think she had lost her father so her bf sort of became the father figure in her life; meaning he always told her what to do, who to be friends with and what to like. And now that he was gone, she felt like she had lost all of her marks in life. She doesn't know what she wants to do with her life; she doesn't know what friends to hang out with; it's to the point where she doesn't even know what kind of drink she likes anymore.

I tried to cheer her up as much as I could and told her to seek some professional help because there isn't much that I could do except give her the sound and mostly SANE advice that I could formulate which is MOVE ON! Everyone in her immediate entourage has told her the same thing yet she is still lost. She thanked me for all my help and then proceeded to find another person sitting in the bench behind us, and she began crying in his arms and telling him the same story over again.

I was curious to find out if she would tell him the same story so I just sat there and pretended to be highly engrossed in my book while eavesdropping on their conversation. She told him about the same story as she told me but she fancied it up a little bit. She mentionned how she went to see 5 different psychics and how they all told her that this guy wasn't good for her but that she would meet her prince charming in a park at a point in her life where she was facing an obstacle. At this point, I was astonished because this girl is stooping to all kinds of low to have people feel sympathy for her. She then asked him to take pity on her and buy her something to eat because she hasn't eaten in days; he asked her if he wanted to get kebabs with her and she had gladly accepted.

I followed them because they were heading towards my place so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone; so he had bought her the kebab and bid her good day since he had to go to his driving course. She saw me and asked me for a ciggie; I told her I didn't smoke. She then sat at the pub right by my place and fell on this old fella and she did her little number again. I mean the whole works; the crying, the breakup story. He bought her two vodka shots, a coke and a full plate of Greek food.

In a matter of hours, this girl had gotten two drinks, two shots, and two full meals. That's when I realised I had been taken for a ride you guys; this was her daily job, I think. I felt like such a fool for falling for her BS but then again, I can't be angry because at least I tried to help out someone no matter what.

That was my eventful day! How was yours? Anything crazy like this ever happened to you?

You know which talent I wish I had?

Ladies and the few gentlemen who come across my blog, the talent I so wish I had is being able to capture a single fleeting moment and making it everlasting. Yes, I am talking about photography dear friends. It had never been a big thing in my life until recently. I don't know if it's because I am learning to listen deep down to the voice inside of me but when I come across a beautiful picture, it speaks to me on so many levels; that's what it does. It moves me. It moves me to the core.

Music is and always has been my first true love; the melody and the lyrics that just touch a special part of me and I know I'm not the only one. I mean, we've all felt it but I had never felt something staring at a picture. Nowadays, I often find myself shedding a tear or two when I come across one. Mainly because it touches me in a meaningful way but mostly because I wish I had the knack and the eye to be able to grasp life's moments and turn it into something breathtaking.

As much as that fact saddens me, what makes me happy is that via blogging, I found a wonderful website where photography is captured at it's best; I am talking about the one and only we❤ it. I found so many pictures on there that I absolutely adore and some other sites and I just thought I would share with you guys some pictures that I love.

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I absolutely love staring at these pictures; not only are they amazing but it makes me really happy knowing that I have someone in my life that I can share an amazing and rare kind of love with and I wish for all you guys, who haven't found it YET, to find that special person in your life.


In other news, me and Mr. Shy made up like we usually do after a little blow up. Thank you for all of you who left a comment to cheer me up. It meant a lot to me.


We had a heart-to-heart tonight and it meant so much to me. He basically told me that the reason why he was extra sensitive about me even touching the keyboard lately is because he was afraid to lose me to some guy who was also a blogger and who could woo me with his words. Lol, he made me laugh when he said that.


Because we met online, he was afraid I might meet someone that would "suit" me better in a way because we are complete opposites. Although we are nothing alike, we are complementary. He likes sleeping in, I like getting up fairly early. He likes salty foods, I ❤ sweets. He's very pessimistic and I burst with optimism and silver linings and a bunch of other shenanigans.


He's been hurt before and he just believed the worst would happen if I spent more time online, such as meeting other men and such. He was fairly supportive about my blogging but didn't want to hear details about it. Tonight, he realised the mistake he was making by not trusting me and supporting me because I am:

" the woman I can't stop thinking about and that I love to death. You're beautiful, inside and out and you're talented. You will become somebody great and I can only hope I'll be along for the ride. Ever since I have been with you, my life has become more easier; I've had lots of deception in my life and with you around, I get to actually have happy moments and be able to smile. You're the only woman I picture myself being with and I hope God will allow us to spend the rest of our lives together."

I didn't tell him I would quote him but it's too beautiful to let it slip by. Yeah, I did cry if you're wondering. He is not a big talker but when he talks, damn it's effective. I'm really glad he opened up for once and I hope now, that he can just be himself because I love him, flaws and all.

He's my Mr.Perfect with all of his imperfections.

Aww.... I didn't mean it lover.

Hello world!!

I woke up to the sound of rain falling down my window and it just put me in such an excellent mood, I feel like a kid again; I feel like jumping in puddles without any rain boots {AFRICAN STYLE}

{via}

or doing some made-up rain dance

{via}

But knowing myself, I'll just end curling up with another book, watching the rain fall endlessly, hoping it will rain all day. I don't know why I love rain so much; it's gray, murky, dark but I find it conforting; it feels like my haven.

{via}

In other news, who's excited about The World Cup? I don't know if there is any soccer or football fans out there; granted I wasn't a huge fan before but ever since I met ID, football has been a huge part of our lives. I am still getting the hang of the never-ending terminology but I am quite into it, more so than ID sometimes. He sometimes stares at me, with an incredulous look on his face, when I get riled up about a missed shot or a foul. He just huffs "I'm dating such a DUDE!" when I get all into it. Hey, it's not my fault; he's the one who created such a "monster."

I feel like I will never understand men; I need a dictionnary or a step-by-step guide on how to figure them out. First, he got pissed at me because I wasn't willing to share his passion; now that I share it, he's upset. I just figured: IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM, JOIN 'EM!

Although, I have been rooting for France to get ahead really far, I just have a feeling they will lose at the first round; they don't seem at all, I MEAN AT ALL, into winning this World Cup. They seem so out of it all and they all play individually, each trying to shine in their own way. They are not cohesive and I truly believe that will take away their strong power as a TEAM; remember folks! There ain't no I in TEAM!

{ Sorry for the football/soccer talk, I warned you guys that I was really into it}

I think it's time for Round 2 for 5000 Questions! If you didn't know about 5000 Questions, let me tell you about it. Each week I will answer about 20 questions about myself until we reach 5000 Questions. If you feel like tagging along, you can get your questions over at Amanda's blog. Come on now! Get excited y'all ( or at least pretend....:)!!!

21. Are you more of a "giver" or a "taker"?
I consider myself more of a "giver"; I find myself having a lot of pride in "taking" something from someone. Unless it's Kay, one of my best friends. She's just like family to me so I don't feel awkward asking her for something.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind ?
I tend to follow my heart; it's inevitable. It's always heart over mind, 99,9% of the time. I am not close-minded at all. I'm very open-minded; a little too much for certain people but I feel like only when you have an open mind, that you're able to grasp the bigger picture in all kind of situations.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?
Omg, this might be a little gore but I bumped my big toe when I was about 11 and my whole toenail LITERALLY came off; I had to clean the wound out every night with hot water and epsom salts and ALCOHOL! I still feel shudders every time I think about it.

24. What is the most emotionnally painful thing that has ever happened to you?
Umm............Seriously as open as I am on this blog, that is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too personal and I wouldn't want to bring that up, at least not YET.

25. Who have you hugged today?
No one YET!

26. Who has done something today to show you they care about you?
One of my sisters for life {Whom I will talk about in the next few paragraphs} sent me a text early this morning.

27. Do you have to learn?
I must admit, I feel like I'm such a know-it-all and it's not like I'm being stuck-up about it; it's just I read on various subjects, I watch a lot of documentaries and I love fun facts; but turns out I have SOOOOOOOOOOO much to learn. Actually ID always says: "You are such a bragger; you always have the answer to anything and everything." * BABE? IT'S CALLED COMMON KNOWLEDGE LOL*

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?
- Ride a bike.( GOD, is my life pathetic? I do not know how to ride a bike. Please don't answer.)
- Speak fluently Koran.
- Learn how to drive. ( Ok, it's official; my life IS pathetic. The only means of transport I have left is my feet and the buses.)


29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?
I'm most affected by how people make me feel with their words/actions, so I'd have to say all 3. I am so sensible and emotionnal; seriously I cry for the smallest reasons EVER.


30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?
Everybody's definition of a GOOD relationship is different but for me, it really comes down to 6 things:


* LOVE- What's the point of being in a relationship if it's not a loving one?
* Trust- If you don't have trust, you have ABSOLUTELY nothing.
* Communication- Communication is key; if you don't communicate properly, expect lots and lots of disagreements.
* Respect- Respect one another.
* Fidelity- A relationship cannot blossom if one of the two is thinking about dating other people; set your expectations from the get-go. You'll save a lot of time and ENERGY if you figure out what kind of relationship you both really want.
* FUN- You need to incorporate fun and laughter and silliness in the couple. Yeah, sometimes it's fun to act like lovey-dovey tweens.


31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?
* BE HAPPY
* HAVE MY LITTLE FAMILY
* TRAVEL THE WORLD
*P.S: I ALSO HAVE A BUCKET LIST. CHECK IT OUT ABOVE*


32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?
* Suicide- God gave you a gift, the gift to live. Why wouldn't I want to take it?
* Killing someone- I would feel like I wouldn't be ME if I harmed someone, anybody. I would rather die than to live the rest of my life as a shadow of myself.
* That's all I could think of.


33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?
I don't believe in one cause more than another; I'm a pretty sensible person so I know that every battle is hard and every battle is going to have its hardships but I feel like we need to fight just as hard for breast cancer if we're fighting hard for equality for all.

34. What does each decade make you think of:

*1920’s: The Great Gatsby

*1930’s: Hitler

*1940’s: Holocaust

*1950’s: Housewives

*1960’s: Babyboomers

*1970’s: Hippies

*1980’s: N.W.A

*1990’s: Wonderbra

*2000's: Finding myself

*2010’s (so far): Not bad!

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?

Obviously the 2000's; I've lived out the best years of my life; met the people who surround me and shower me with their love and affection. What more could a girl want?

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?

Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?

France, and Nicolas Sarkozy.

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?

Get it together!

38. What’s your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?

Seriously, inside my head. I often daydream a lot before falling asleep; I make up all these fantasies at night {I rarely remember my actual dreams.} only to find them crushed in the morning.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?

Umm I saw myself more as a princess. I'm quite stumped actually. What kind of villain AM I? You give me one; but choose a nice one please. The least villain-esque of all villains.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?

No I have not. I wish I would have though.

All right, well that's done. Wow these questions took me over an hour. Getting back to question number 26, my sister for life, Habone, texted me early this morning (for me) since it was probably still nighttime for her. She said that "whilst reading my BEAUTIFUL BLOG ( her words, not mine) and she saw the pictures and she found out, she wasn't part of the pictures, she was MAD then felt neglected." So here's a very special shout out to her.

"Lover,( it's our nickname) most of the pictures I have of you and I is when we were kids and do you remember when you showed up to my 10th birthday party in a wedding dress? Up to this day, I STILL cannot figure out for the life of me, why you had to wear a wedding dress and who was the groom but I still have laughing fits when I think about that. If you want, I will GLADLY do a post on all those wonderful memories and bust the old memorobilia.

I met you when we were little nuggets; our dads were friends. I guess I met you when we were 3 or 4 ; correct me if I'm wrong. I have known you for 19 years or is it 20 now? I don't know, it has been way too long. OMG! Do you remember when we were sitting next to each other in all of our classes ever since kindergarden? Do you remember our little crew of girls trying to rule the schoolyard, OUR WAY? Hell's yeah, we were the ORIGINAL Gossip Girls. When I had to leave Djibouti, I would have never guessed in a MILLION years, that we'd see each other in citizenship class in 10th grade in one of the most GHETTO high school in Ottawa, Ontario.

That day is like engraved in my head and my heart. FOREVER. I so cherish the fact that we've always kept so close even though we live near opposite coasts, and when I went back to Djibouti for a whole year, you followed suit for the summer. I've spent the most amazing summer of my life that summer. You're more than a friend to me; you're my sister of kin; you're my sister of heart. I wish I would have lots more pictures of you and I because you and I are the only ones together that I do not have a recent picture of. That's why I decided to steal ( YES STEAL!) your FB profile picture and paste my face on this girl's body; please apologize to your friend, on my behalf. So you are not forgotten Lover; not by a long shot. You have a special place of your own Lover!"

Hope you enjoyed your little shoutout Lover and as promised, here's the updated version of us. One day, VERY SOON, you will all see what I am talking about when it comes to this infamous wedding dress.

{ As you can tell, I am not computer savvy}

Have a chillax Sunday everyone; Live life, stay healthy and God bless!!