An exception to the rule.

"Every movie we see, every song we hear, every story we're told implores us all to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule." - Gigi from He's just not that into you.

You know what I love? Girls talking about boys; it’s the funniest thing around; seriously do you guys ever notice how much time women spend talking about men? Like it never ever ends. I was just on a bus this afternoon and this girl sitting in front of me was complaining about how she met this great guy and how they had a magical date and how he never called her back and her friend said the worst thing she could have ever said: ” Oh, you shouldn’t worry; I’m sure he’ll call; I mean why wouldn’t he? You’re so pretty and smart. I’m sure he’s gonna call”. I’m sure she was being supportive as a girlfriend but come on; I swear, there was nothing holding me back from just slapping her silly and get some sense into that girl’s head.

If y’all didn’t know by now, that great guy just wasn’t into her and as girls, it’s so hard for us to grasp that concept. We sit around making up excuses for these “great” guys while they are out there looking out for their special someone’s or somebody to bone, which ever they’re into. I mean if the book and the movie “He’s just not that into you” didn’t make you question your views on men, then I don’t know what more to say; and if you did not read the book or see the movie, I highly recommend it. Greg Behrendt is a former executive writer on SATC and he co-wrote the book “He’s just not that into you” with his co-worker Liz Tucillo. It’s such an eye-opening book and it’s liberating to feel that we may not be what certain guys are looking for just like they may not be what we are looking for.

Men and women are wired differently; we girls tend to overproject our life long dreams onto a guy we’ve just met; we are already thinking bed sheets thread counts and a little summer house and we already got the names of our future 5 children already picked out; guys, on the other hand, are just thinking ” I hope this goes well”. You cannot expect them to decide if we’re the one in about 5 minutes; that’s unrealistic.

Example, a guy and a girl go shopping. Let’s say they both need socks; a guy will go to the store, get his socks, buy his socks and leave the store; he is not about to check out that v-neck t-shirt that’s on sale, or try on belts or see if the store has a new layout for sales or anything we girls tend to do. Once a guy knows what he wants he’s gonna go and get it and that same technique sadly applies to how they date as well. So if a guy likes you, then YOU WILL KNOW.

They say “Actions speak louder than words” or ” A picture is worth a thousand words”, well those sayings apply in real life as well.I mean between a guy who says “I donate my time to the elderly” and seeing a guy who’s volunteering at an old folk’s home, which one would you rather believe? So point is believe only what you see; anybody can say anything but action is key. So if you still didnt get it: “IF A GUY LIKES YOU HE WILL LET YOU KNOW”.

He will call you; he will text you; he will IM you; he will facebook, tweet and skype you. He will drop his work, blow off his friends and crazy ex-girlfriends and football practices and anything else that’s keeping him away from you. He will bug the crap out of you and not care that he’s bugging the crap out of you. That’s how simple it is; if you guys went on a great date and he still hasn’t called back then he’s not interested. I could be wrong when I say this but I bet I’m really not.

Talk is cheap; if he’s telling you one thing and doing another thing, that’s shady. I’m not saying all guys are liars; I’m just saying that talk is cheap. People tend to say what they “think” they want to do without thinking it through and then it creates the mess called “mixed messages”. Girls spend hours with their girlfriends trying to figure out mixed messages; girls, bottom line is if you feel like he’s not interested, then he probably isn’t and the faster we realise this, the better it is for us. Would you rather spend your evening waiting by the phone for a guy who YOU think is gonna call but really isn’t when you could be out with your friends meeting great people who might actually call you back one day?

And as much as it hurts, we have to understand that yeah, we’re pretty awesome but we’re not meant for everybody; we shouldn’t be settling for anything less than what we are and we should all be “the exception to the rule”.

Difference

This thought creeped up in my head a few nights ago as I was watching Tyler Perry's Why did I get married? , which is an incredible movie by the way, if you have not seen it. I thought about all my past boyfriends; the list is not that long, TRUST ME. I never had or caught one cheating. Am I really that foolish in relationships, that I wouldn't even realise if I'm being cheated on or am I just really lucky in relationships? Almost all the girls I've known have been cheated on at least once, so I couldn't be the only LUCKY girl who hasn't had an unfaithful man, could I ?

Well, in the other hand, I've never had the chance to truly live out a relationship fully since I was always hopping from one country to another and back and forth so I guess they all deserve the benefit of the doubt. I've heard infidelity rumours from many people in all my previous relationships but I did not listen to the rumours. I am a fervent believer in "BELIEVING IN WHAT YOU SEE"; so when someone whispered ish about my previous heart tenants, I would just listen from one ear and let it out from the other. People may call you naive for believing a cheater , or even stupid like they did with me, but trust me, it's better to not know. I mean, once in a while, you get the random thought that pops into your head, like it recently did with me but I don't know how I would react if I learnt that one of my exes did cheat on me for real while we were in a relationship, whether it'd be a normal relationship or a long-distance relationship. I would feel betrayed, even if it's been years since I have not seen said-so ex; because there was a time I truly cared about this person and to know that I might not have mattered as much to them would be hurtful.

Yes, I am the kind of girl who thinks that after every failed relationship, the guy mourns her very much and takes years to truly forget about her; even if it's not true, that's what my pretty head likes to believe. And I'll still believe that I am different than everyone else unless I am proven wrong.