Monday, June 28, 2010

Converses vs. High Heels: Where do I fit in?

Disclaimer: Some of these pictures might make you want to run for the hills but I am confident enough to share this with y'all.

Growing up, I went through many different phases in my life. When I was about as high as 3 apples, the youngest of my mom's family, my lovely aunt was a teen. A teen who was loud, bubbly who had mistaken me for her real-life Barbie Doll. She used to come to our house with all of her friends and they would dress me up, in big poofy dresses and do little braids on my hair. I didn't mind. I loved being a little diva; I would tell most people not to touch me because I was pretty and they were not.
You could say that I was very conceited; when you're an only child and everyone in your family tells you how special and cute you are, you tend to believe it, right? RIGHT?

I know- I was a cutester!

here I am with my father

Then I became a teen. A teen who loved her baggy jeans and her holey sweatshirts more than life itself. I had over 20 pairs of jeans and I wore them non-stop. I didn't want anything to do with hair styling, make-up or anything of the sort. It's like my aunt and her crazy friends had traumatized me to death. My mother would often be quoted, saying: " I gave birth to a girl, not a boy. Please put on a skirt, or a top that doesn't reach your knees." I was seriously set on wearing a purple and black tracksuit to my senior prom.

To scare my mother even more, I used to tell her that I would rock a white Adidas tracksuit with "The Bride" bedazzled on the back and I would match them with some fierce Converse white high tops; she had so many nightmares about it. Point was that I didn't care one bit. In high school, I hung out with my little group of girlfriends who are still my best friends now, whom I miss dearly by the way :) and I didn't participate heavily in after-school activities. I wasn't on any sports team, I didn't do arts or crafts, I wasn't member of any club. I was just plain.

When I was going into my senior year of high school, I had a wake up call; I wasn't going to be remembered for anything so I kicked myself into gear. I became a member of the music club; it didn't matter that I couldn't play a single instrument. I joined the school "glee club" if you could call it that; it didn't matter that I cannot hold a tune to save my life. I was part of the drama club and even co-wrote a play with all of my classmates; I played an OG {that's an Original Gangsta}. I was part of the Arts and Fashion show where I was behind the scenes of course; you can't expect a miracle to happen.

I started dressing up and changing a bit my style. I still loved my converses but I'd wear tighter jeans and cute tops. I even wore a dress .:GASP:. to my prom. Then I did a complete 180°. I tried being a complete girly girl; I wore dresses and skirts non-stop. I would buy loads and loads of make-up that I didn't even know how to wear often. I started buying heels that I couldn't even walk in; I guess I just wanted to be noticed as a girl for the first time in my life.

at Prom

Now it feels like the old part of me wants to break out from the shell; I don't want to veer off into the horrible part of me but I can't pretend to be girly girly because that's just not who I am. If a girl can walk in 4' inch heels and not have sore feet by the end of the night, then she's my hero. My feet are already sore from wearing flats all day. I do love makeup and have gotten better at it, most definitely but sometimes, I just like to be bare. I know I have sun spots and little freckles around my nose but I embrace it; it's who I am. I don't need to hide behind all these artificial stuff because that's what I was doing, hiding. I hid behind everything instead of really feeling things and just being myself.

I am not a spotlight kind of girl; I like to blend in. But there is a difference between blending in and completely disappearing. Now, I am at a point where I just want to find a common ground between my converses and my high heels.

+ =


  1. Can I just say, first of all, that there is no "horrible part" of you!! Wanting to wear sneakers and tracksuits does not make you horrible, nor does preferring to blend in! I hate having attention on me, and to the people that matter you will never blend in!

    And, I don't see that you gotta choose between high heels or converses? I love girlie pretty things, but I also adore slumming it in hoody jumpers, jeans, tracksuit pants etc (I don't go out in public in tracky pants but I always go out in jeans and a hoody when the mood strikes me). That perfume that martin gave me? Another part of his present was a grey hoody (and let me tell you, I have virtually lived in it for about 3 days) and another part was jewelry. I like pretty things but I also like comfort and chilling out.

    I reckon embrace both sides of you whenever either mood strikes you :-) because being one or the other isn't as fun as being anything and everything as it suits you :-D

  2. That was really long! Sorry, hehe x

  3. Thanks Olivia; I should really just embrace who I am.

    I just grew up being constantly told you need to be a woman; a woman stands up straight. A woman cannot be ungroomed, ever. A woman cannot be wearing tracksuits or anything that relates close to men's clothing.
    It's like so many rules; and I feel just plainly stuck in the middle.

    The womanly time of the month is making me question so many little things.

  4. ((HUG))
    That's cuz time of the month is sooo annnoying, i figured a hug would help :)

    My first instinct to reply to this post is, GIRL WEAR WHATEVA THE HECK YOU WANT WHENEVA THE HECK YOU WAN TO.
    Listen, it's all about balance! There's nothing wrong with preferring converses over stielettos, gimme a break! I wear flats or converses every day of my life. Don't feel bad about your preferences, but if you love the girly stuff too, try to strike a balance. Wear your sneaks, but pair it with cute jeans and a nice top and do your hair up cute. Or when you're wearing your track suits be sure your makeup is nice and/or your hair is cute..... or DONT... it's whatever you want to be at a given moment.


  5. I think it is fine to be both ways. I love dressing girly and all but during the work week I do not have the time to straighten my hair all the time, so my hair is pulled into a bun or ponytail everyday for work. Weekends is when I try to dress more like a girl. Although I do not wear makeup much. Especially since it is summer. No point it melts right off anyway.

  6. I totally agree Dan!!! I was going to say wear what you are comfortable in! Personally reading this I saw a lot of myself in this blog. Now I love t-shirts and hoodies however, if I have one on I have on girly jeans and earrings (I will never be caught without earrings) LOL! But during the week I wear flats sometimes a wedge but mostly flats. I love tennis shoes they are so comfortable and in the summer I always have on flip flops the thing is to add the girlyness (I know thats not a word) to it...if I have on flip flops they usually have rhinestones or something on them. I still carry a big flashy bag no matter what I have on...I will put on pearls and a t-shirt or sweatshirt...hey I like it thats all that matters (my mom and sister crack up at me because I love pearl earrings and I will put them on with anything) Dont Judge Me LOL!!!

    I also love heels...if I have them on I have on at least a 3 1/2 to 4 inch heel when I dress up...I would KILL my feet if I wore them daily...also I would be lying if I said they didnt hurt after hours of wearing them...but hey I love them so I still wear them...pain and all!!!

    I said all of that to say "do you" make others say hey thats that girl that had the pearls and tshirt on!!! LOL!!! Be you because if you dont then you will be the one that is either uncomfortable in your clothing or upset that you didnt wear what came to mind in the first place!

    **oh that the converse jacket with Bride sounded really cute...not for the wedding (for me) but the prior to events...LOL!!!***

  7. **sorry Dani I left the "I" off the end of your name...I apologize!

  8. Yes, you were an adorable kid!!!! So cute! Why do't you like spotlight? You know, to walk in those high heals you need a lot practice. Every time I buy a new pair I break them in at home. First I wear them for a hour. Next time two, and so o. It's the only way! If they are real leather, I like to put a wet sock on because the the shoe actually mods itself onto the foot. Ad you know, sometimes if you're the least glam one then you will stand out just as much if you are the overdressed one :)

  9. I've always been a t-shirt and jeans kinda girl. Though I would love to dress up and wear dresses more but I wanna lose weight first. I hate heels but I have a couple pair that were just too cute i had to buy

  10. @Dani -((hugs back))
    Lol that hug did help - I heart hugs.

    Lool @your first insinct; I know I just need to find a balance between my converses and my high heels which was more of a metaphor for how I feel deep down.

  11. @Jennifer- It should be fine but there always a part of me who's not confident with myself so I feel like I need to fall into one category and stick with it!

  12. @The Green Eyed Lady- I love tshirts and hoodies too!
    Omg you and I are like the same! I love pearls earrings, I'm rocking them as we speak! Lol Don't worry I won't judge!

    * Like for a bachelorette party right?*

  13. @Carina- lol thank you!! I get really nervous if people stare at me too long.

    I tried breaking them in but it just hurts so much; I fall and trip every two seconds!

    such a nice tip; I'll try soon with my new pair of heels!

  14. @Best Kept Secrets- I like wearing dresses but I like to wear them flats; I love heels but I'm more comfort over fashion.


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