Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Communication: A-to-Z Guide.

Communication is something we, sometimes, take for granted. Communication is one of the many secrets of an everlasting relationship. Communication is the key to everything. But sometimes, we just do not know how to communicate in relationships. It's like the more we try to talk, the harder it gets for some of us. We end up fumbling on our words, saying things we do not mean and act a certain way. But what would happen if you had a girl's and A GUY's perspective on how to communicate effectively? Say what? You would TOTALLY love it? Well, you're in luck. Your eyes are not cheating you, dear friends; this is a collaboration post with my dear and good friend Barryck ; this idea came to us whilst discussing a certain issue and how communication would be quite effective in that situation. And so this little gem of a post was born. Here's an A-to-Z guide on "How To Communicate Effectively In a Relationship" .

A Relationship: Being in love and having a partner is to be in a relationship, relating to somebody is talking every time you need to share a thought with the one you are sharing feelings.

Being: Simply be; be yourself with one another; learn to blossom together, accept one another.

Circle: Build your relationship as a Circle not a straight line. So Even if your minds turn each other backs and start talking they will end up meeting again hence the round limit of the circle.

Debate: The best part of communication is debating your thoughts with your partners’. It has to be an instructive debate though, not having these am-always-right torrents going in your mind.

Engage the conversation: Don’t wait for the other to engage conversations when you guys went on a rough talk. But wait for the proper moment. (not until you witnessing him/her coming to talk to you though :P ) Wait for the partner to cool down then engage a conversation about what happened and try to apologize or Debate (remember?).

Friendship: A relationship without a good base such as friendship, is like a home without a good foundation to rest upon. It will eventually fall apart. If you feel like not talking to your partner, go to them as if they were your friend. Sometimes, falling back onto that friendship level is what allows you to say your side of the story without going off the deep end and saying things you WILL eventually regret.

Giggles: Laughter, smiles, giggles is the best way to invite your partner to talk about a serious issue in the couple. Redirecting the mood is sometime best done with the giggles.

Jokes: Sometimes cracking a funny joke in one heated moment, will have you guys bursting down in laughter. Don’t trust this result 100% but I promise it works. Only if you have the proper joke for the proper moment. Caution! Guys don’t you joke about her Weight when she is in this "youneverlikewhenamdressedthisway" crisis! Avoid this rule.

Hang out often: Hanging out is a great tool to enhance the communication in a couple. Meeting people, sharing thoughts, talking about everything will help you discern what your partner feelings are about an issue you never thought he/she will react that way.

Interest: Keeping an interest in your lover's day will allow them to feel understood and avoid the infamous blow-up where you stare incredulously into space, just wondering where the HELL did THAT come from?

Kissing: If nothing else works, KISS! Sometimes, when we girls tend to ramble on forever, and we do that, GUYS just plant one on us. But make sure it's a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD one. We will soon forget what we were yet upset about.

Listen: Sometimes we listen to our inner voice that always tell us "You're right; you're so right you can't be wrong"; but more often, we are wrong and we don't hear what our significant other is telling us because we're so damn stubborn. Listening to the other party tell you their feelings is not a guilt trip nor is it them being naggy; it's them ACTUALLY feeling something. And we'd be stupid not to listen. It's real easy; put the little voice in your head on MUTE and open your ears to your loved one.

Memories: when upset, you have to look back on the good times; when you think about happier times, you feel less stressed and more open to having an actual conversation. Sometimes, you may even wonder what made you upset in the first place.

Neutral: If you guys cannot be in an closed space without one of you yelling at the top of their lungs, go NEUTRAL. when in neutral grounds, we're usually more reserved and do not want everyone staring at us like circus freaks!

Open mind: Not everything is black nor white; life comes in many shades of grey. Keeping an open mind to everything will enable you to see things in different ways and maybe, just maybe.....Dare I say it? Even see your partner's point of view. Yeah I went there!

Past: Do not, under any circumstance bring the past into a current argument. It doesn't matter that he ripped a page out of your Cosmo last year or that she ate your peanut butter & jelly sandwich last night; whatever happened previously, is exactly that. IT HAPPENED. Get over it and focus on the now and on how you can resolve it.

Questions: The best one in the couple is the one who tries to question everything about the partner, but be aware not to question too much about the relationship. If you start to question yourself or the other about the relationship be sure that your question will be answered with those negative answers we don’t like. Be positive, in your thoughts, and in your questions.

Respect: Respect each other's thoughts and feelings; when one is feeling repressed or misunderstood, we allow ourselves to cross some boundaries that we wouldn't cross in other circumstances. Allowing your significant other to feel however they feel might hurt you a little because maybe that's not the way you intended to make them feel but once you respect their feelings, you'll have a better view on how to rectify your error.

Sanctuary: your relationship should be the thing that is sacred from evil thoughts, backstabbing people, crappy bosses and plain haters. Let no one enter your little home away from home.

Trust: Trust your partner and believe in them! That's all there is to that; if you don't have trust you have nothing.

Understand: Sometimes when we come to deal with a shock we act just in the moment, not
pulling back and understanding the moment, the action, the what happened. Take your time, ask, Debate, Understand, and then Act! You just can’t act without understanding. That will have some bad returns in the future but would have great and wonderful returns if you literally pull back.

Vibration: Positive Vibrations must be spread when you guys talk. Negativity is this factor that makes us always stop a conversation and get to the nearest bar. Spreading Positive Vibrations will help you install this great atmosphere to talk. You can go to a chic restaurant, or to a beach then invite your partner to talk about this thing you disliked.

Work: Communication is not like a day at the beach; it's real work. You cannot expect to breeze through it; it's most definitely work. It's sometimes doing things you might not want to do. IT'S WORK! Did I mention it's work?

X factor: An on communication built relationship is the total opposite of this show. YOU are not looking for something cool he/she said to agree with, but you guys need to convince each other every time you talk. Remember debate?

Yes: We try so hard to not be a doormat and say NO, firmly, to all those ridiculous things our partners have a certain "FONDNESS" of and no, I am not talking about spanking; UNLESS............
Whilst that is a subject for another time, I mean just because we think we would look ridiculous wearing a chapka or doing crazy gymnastics moves in a crowded place, just because "IT'S NOT US." How do we know it's not us unless we try it? All I'm saying, we should start thinking about saying YES a little more often; yeah maybe we will look foolish for a moment, but we will have a great laugh for many many many years to come.

Zeal: Being in a relationship is a fight and almost a cause to defend! So defend your love as if you were fighting for humanity. Your life has to be turning around this honorable cause. What is it to fight for with the heart if it wasn’t for love? You have the answer. Feel the need to defend the cause with communication though. The best tool ever to keep it going and going and going.

What do you guys think of our little rules? Do you agree? Feel free to comment.
Hey Barryck, that was fun, wasn't it ?

P.S: If you love geeky news, informative news about this great big world wide web, please check out Barryck @ He's the specialist. He's on Twitter too. TWEET TWEET!
P.P.S: All pictures via WeHeartIt and Flickr.

1 comment:

  1. I just loved to do this collabo with you, it was sooo fun I didnt want it to end! will definitely do more and more like this!


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