I must admit that I am a walking, talking, breathing, living KLUTZ. If I don't go knocking over a chair, stumping my toes on the door or breaking a plate for at least one day, then I better just play the lottery because I am on a roll. I must also specify that I, in no way, shape, or form, actually had anything to do with this; it was all Mother Nature's fault.
Tis was the night of prom. I had actually looked like a girl; I wore this gold floor length grecian gown with a small train, accented with Swarowski-encrusted butterfly clips on the straps, a swooping cowneck-like backline, and gold crystal-encrusted strappy heels. I had my mother's wedding pearl and gold tiara that she wore when she first married my father and a vintage gold clutch. Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT! Some might have said that I looked FYYYYYNNNNNNNNE but you know, I did.
I was sitting at my table surrounded by my friends and we were the last table on the left side, nearing the buffet. In order to get out of the ballroom, you had to pass by seven other tables which included all the jocks and the pretty boys, their girlfriends and the TEACHERS, cross the ballroom, climb a few stairs and out of the door, you were. I do have a pretty small bladder and while waiting for the evening's festivities to start, I had felt the urge to pee. As I got up to go to the ladies's room and started walking away from my table, I hear my best friend, frantically getting up and walking right behind me; like RIGHT BEHIND ME! She couldn't have been any closer even if she tried. I didn't pay any attention until I noticed five other friends of mine, basically circling me. I prompted to ask what was going on and they just said to keep walking. I reached the bathroom only to notice THE BIGGEST STAIN on my dress. Yup, Aunt Flow came to town at my prom.
To say that at least half of my class and my teachers saw that would be an understatement. I think I had the biggest meltdown of my life; I cried half of my makeup off, trying to figure out what to do. Thankfully, a friend of mine had a spare tampon and another one knew that Club Soda or sparkling water, fizzy water, carbonated water if you prefer takes out colored stains. She rushed to the barman to get some and we were able to get off the stain. I sat for 15 minutes under the hotel's hand dryer and I had managed to pull myself together, emotionally and physically.
As I walking towards the ballroom, my friends kept asking me if I was "really" going back in there knowing pratically everyone knew what happened to me, by now. I kept thinking "I did not pay nearly 400 bucks for a dress I'll probably only wear once, spend an entire day on my hair, make up, fake nails and the whole shabang, spend money a limo and spend 100 bucks for a prom ticket, all for a prom I'm never going to get to enjoy. FUCK THAT! I'm going in there like I own the place; like none of this even phased me and I'm going to have the time of my life and live it up because this only happens once in your lifetime." And that, I did friends. And that I did.
I went in the ballroom, smiled at everyone and proceeded to make my way to my stained chair. I asked one of the waiters for a new chair and offered to clean my mess; they told me it was all good and I enjoyed my night. I don't have many memories from that night except the ones I remember capturing with my throw-away camera but I remember how much fun I had, looking back at pictures.
If I had opted to go home after said-incident I might have missed out on all of those great moments that I could proudly look back on now, sit with my friends and just say, "I had so much fun! Oh my god, look at us! We were so young! I don't know if you remember, so and so was sooooo looking at you when you were on the dancefloor. Do you remember her giving you the dirty look because you had accidentally stepped on her dress?" and other moments like that.
I learned that I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to just overcome most situations, and I did it in such a fierce manner. I'm fierce and ballsy! Anything like that ever happened to you? How did you react?
P.S: Would you like to hear some more embarrassing stories? Please leave your comments if you do. Happy Hump Day! xo