I remember.

As I sit on my bed, checking my bank account balance online while mentally making my grocery's list {I'm a multi-tasker:) }, I sometimes wish I had a machine just to go back in time for a few hours. I wish I was 6 or 7 again. I had no worries back then. All I thought about was my grandmother's mint candy, that were scattered at the bottom of her purse, being the most popular girl in my class, climbing trees (I've always felt I was a monkey in a previous lifetime) and ice cream.

My grandmother is the nicest woman I have ever met and since I am one of her first grandchildren, she adores me. She always had a preference for me ever since I was born; my mother wanted to name me Idmane or Abyan originally but my grandmother asked her to name me Ayan, which in my birth tongue, means "bright" or "the lucky one". My name also means "God's gift"; " Peace" and "Center of the soul". I believe the meaning of names can predict who you are deep down inside. It's like my friend Paul; I have known him for some time now so technically there should be no way I would fumble on his name, but almost every time I call him Nathan. Go figure, he always looked like a Nathan to me; until the day I started looking up names definitions for all my loved ones. Turns out that Paul really means "small" and Nathan means "God Given". I then knew what I really saw in him and it's the same with my grandma; It's like she could foresee the person I was meant to be by choosing the perfect name for me.

she is the only person who, to this day, sees me as a grownup. Everybody else in my family stills sees me as a child and think that I know nothing about life. My mima, as I called her, lived in a pretty big house but what I loved the most, was the big juniper tree on the front porch. She would set a few piled mattresses on the floor and plastic chairs so that if us children decided to play out on the porch, an adult could sit outside and keep an eye on us. She would sit there countless hours, staring at us play around. I remember climbing that big juniper tree, hiding in the branches until she came and sat at the foot of the tree, then I would jump down to try and scare her. But she never fell for it; she always knew I was hiding in that tree and she always feared that I would break a limb. In order for to get me down from the tree, she always bribed me with mint candy; what can I say? I am a sucker {pun intended :)} for candy.

I remember my father always taking me out for ice cream every single Friday; it was our weekly tradition. I was a wise little girl and I knew that if I batted my eyelashes a little and gave my father the biggest smile I could master, he would be putty in my hands and you best believe that I took full advantage of that. It wasn't long before I was smiling left and right in order to get a bigger dose of weekly ice cream. I remember being a girly girl with my little braids and my paisley dresses, just being happy. I remember sitting in my grandpa's lap (May God Rest his Soul) while trying to take my first steps. I remember litterally pigging out on chocolate { another great love of mine}. I remember my first day of school, I was so nervous and when I get nervous, I get a serious case of the giggles. I remember writing my first letter; it was a letter to my mother telling her I loved her.I remember a time in my life where life was just easy; I was carefree. When I look back upon these pictures, I really miss being a child.


Do you ever miss being a child?