Thursday, May 20, 2010

Undecisive yet again

Decisions are hard to make for me; I am such an indecisive person and it's not just "Oh, I really don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with this person or not" kinda decision; it's more like "Shit! What kind of flavoured jam DO I WANT? Somebody, please HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!".

I spend hours just staring at the jam section in my grocery store {when I'm alone of course; when I'm grocery shopping with others, I just go for what they take. I really am not picky when it comes to food.}

So the decision I have been struggling with lately is whether or not I should delete my Facebook account. I know deleting Facebook is like social suicide, like Facebook is "the place" to be.

*Is it really? Or has Twitter trumped it from its social throne? Welcome to the random thoughts that are constantly in my head.*

But lately, I have been known to close my account like everyday until late at night, I hear Facebook slowly calling me to open my account back up because IT KNOWS IT'S MY CRACK! I am OBSSESSED with Crackbook! I don't want to close it because that's the only link I have to all my friends that I have left back home; seeing their pictures and all of their crazy wall posts I will definitely miss.

What has brought to me to this point, might you ask? Well, Facebook is slowly trying to ruin my life. Now, I am not one to be hurt when people "defriend" me. I have defriended my fair share of people; the high school prima donna,who you haven't said two words to all high school long, who suddenly friends you like you two were as close as B&R {Batman and Robin}; the guy you dated a few years ago and you're trying to be "friends" with although that's not working out too well and the old coworker from a previous job that you quit 5 years ago. But recently, a person who was close to me "defriended" me; someone I actually cared about, who I thought was my friend, and who I lived with for about a year took time to write me off her life. I had no idea how much the "unfriend" button could actually hurt.

Then yesterday night, I ran across the inevitable; a little love note that made my insides feel like being inside a jumping castle. A love note that would have been mine if things were like they used to be.Then a picture, smiling faces; hands touching; love oozing out of every pore of their bodies. Granted, I am not still in love with said-so person; I have moved on quite well but I'm the type of girl who likes to pretend that exes mourn her for these few reasons and so many more of course:

- I am a mean cook; my grandma taught me that if you're willing to get into a man's heart, you must first go through his stomach! Thanks Mima! I love cooking like it's nobody's business and I believe that nothing says sorry more than a mississippi mud pie.

- I love watching sports. Granted it's not like I'd rather watch sports than say, Gossip Girl or How I met your mother but I am quite a fanatic. Sometimes, my passion for football runs deeper than ID's, only when Barcelona is playing though. {ID is my bf's nickname.}

- I send little care packages when I'm traveling for a long period of time or when they're away for a while.

Now after seeing the proof that he did move on, (the worst part of it all is that I don't even have him as a friend on Crackbook, one of my best friend does). I'm usually not the kind of girl who asks all of her friends to "defriend" her ex because she needs closure but after seeing what I saw last night, I wish I would have. Oh Well!

I just don't want to run into these kinda awkward situations or feelings for that matter; I hate anything awkward. I just feel like it's maybe time to delete it completely. I don't know. Maybe it's time to turn the page. Maybe I'm just freaking out for no reason. Maybe I'm right. Whoa! Too much to handle on an empty stomach!


I'll just sleep on it for tonight; what do you guys think? Any advice would be great! Danke in advance.

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